Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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