I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
