If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
