But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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