1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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