Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
