You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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