My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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