Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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