i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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