1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just had sex on a roof
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
