If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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