I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
