Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
