Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
