hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize