Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
