I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize