in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
