Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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