you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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