loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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