p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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