Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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