last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
