I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
