2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You took a bar mat shot.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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