He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
