Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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