I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
