He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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