are you so shy because you have an std?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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