Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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