I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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