You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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