I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
