Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
