You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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