There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
