For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
