What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
