I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
