I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
