Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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