I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
