bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
