drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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