i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I have peed in a lot of sinks
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
