i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
