Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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