Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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