Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
