i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
