Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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