dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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