I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She bit a glass in half.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
