imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize