i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
