I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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