kristin has been a bad kristin
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
